Lita. Acceptance and healing
I recognized myself as asexual during a relationship. It turned out to be really toxic, and my orientation wasn’t taken seriously. I felt disappointed and wrong about my sexuality, and my partner only made things worse. These photos were taken during days of hesitation and fear.
After the breakup, I healed myself with art and psychotherapy, and now I finally feel real. From my own experience, asking for help is not scary and not bad, and there is nothing to be ashamed of, whether you get help from a psychotherapist or a friend. Looking inside yourself and your traumas is scary, but it is necessary so that they no longer affect your life later.
I have discovered that asexual people can accept sex as a part of life. However, you should not do it for the sake of someone who won’t even include you in their environment. What is important is establishing your mental comfort zone and boundaries that should never be crossed. No one is obliged to play by someone else’s rules.
You need to learn how to love, or at least how to accept yourself, in the first place. Although to maintain self-love, you need to understand yourself very well, along with all the angels and demons of the subconscious. Sincerity towards yourself and the absence of self-deception are what you deserve!
Each of us is unique and deserves to be happy, accepted, and understood among our circle of loved ones, friends, and community. You can think a lot that you are not thin enough, beautiful enough, or anything else, but this is your body. If you feel comfortable and healthy at any weight, then the opinion of others does not matter. You just need to learn to listen to your inner truth and be aware.
Denys. First time in San Francisco
I was born and raised in Lviv, a city where nobody spoke about homosexuality. I heard about it only in the media, I didn’t have gay friends, and even when I felt attracted to men, I believed the feeling wasn't real, because nobody around me was gay. When I was 16, I graduated from school and had the opportunity to visit my aunt in the USA. I was already more or less aware of my identity, but I had not yet identified myself as gay.
When I got to San Francisco, a disco-style city and the gay capital of the world, Pride Month has just begun. There were lots of LGBT flags everywhere, LGBT identities in every store and on every street, and I just stared at it with eyes wide open because I had never seen such a thing in Lviv.
That was the moment when I immediately felt such wild freedom, because on the streets I saw people of completely different orientations, different couples whom I looked at with admiration. I stared back at the boys, went on gay dates, and lived a normal life which I had not seen in Ukraine before.
In the US, I felt some strength in myself, and there I began to do photography, which I still admire. Sometimes I remembered that this time would end and I would have to return to Ukraine. It was a turning point when I realized that on my return home, I would have to create a space that would be as comfortable as in San Francisco.
I am grateful to everyone who made my trip to America so magical. If it weren’t for that trip, I’m not sure I would be who I am now. It completely changed my idea of life, of society, of heteronormativity, and, moreover, of photography. It would be super cool to bring that spirit to Ukraine and have such a Pride here — in fact, it is my life's dream.
Kinder Limo. Meeting Dorian Electra
I grew up in a hetronormative society and discovered my sexuality in my late teens, basically when I was eighteen. When we are learning about this world, we are listening to music and watching movies, most of which are about straight experiences. This is why most people realize their sexuality later, when they are adults. And that’s why the existence of queer art is so important.
Meeting Dorian Electra was a life-changing experience. It was the first time I had seen a nonbinary person in music. We met via the internet, as we all do now. I came across their art and felt startled. I immediately made a number of covers and posted them on my Instagram.
I asked Dorian If I could be a part of their team and join them on a tour to LA as a back-dancer. They answered that I could catch up with them on a European tour! Obviously I was the happiest person in the world. I saw something that I could relate to.
At that point, I felt cautious about it. However, my environment started to change. It was my second year at the Ukrainian Catholic University, and the fact that different people existed and that I actually fit in meant a lot to me. There was place for hesitation, but in half a year I came out as nonbinary. I felt better; however, it took me two years to accept it and reveal it to the world.
That was one of my biggest inspirations to start creating queer art, being loud and proud and telling my own stories. I started writing music, and I hope one day someone will discover themselves through my lyrics. I started researching a lot and dug into queer theory. I hope my music helps others to understand themselves better. The feedback I get makes me happy.
Nazarii. Сoming out of the closet
I grew up in a small town in western Ukraine, where the only thing people know about LGBT people is that they are somewhere very far away and definitely can’t be around. When I was a teenager, I began to realize I was attracted to boys, and my best decision was to hide it so as not to become the subject of all the local gossip and a family disappointment.
However, when I entered the University of Kyiv, I began to meet people from all over Ukraine and even the world. I realized that people are so diverse and multifaceted that fitting yourself in just one box is simply wrong and absurd. Then I began to explore my orientation more, and at first I supposed that I was bisexual. Over time, I realized that I was attracted only to men and I no longer wished to fit into socially acceptable behavior.
These photos were taken at the first Equality March in Kyiv, which I attended with my boyfriend, Vova. It was a very important moment for me, because I felt part of a large community of people who were either like me or understood the concept of equality.
Then I wanted to come out of the closet to my parents because I finally realized that this is my life and I’m living it for myself. I was ready for the fact that we might stop communicating. However, everything went better than I expected, and now I can discuss my relationship with them. I have decided to be an example for other LGBT+ people who are looking for support.
This year, I made a public coming out and finally felt complete freedom and inner peace with who I am. Yes, someone may not support me or even condemn me, but I know that I have my friends, family, and boyfriend around me — people who love me and accept me completely. All that remains is to obtain equality of rights at the government level.
Lita. Acceptance and healing
I recognized myself as asexual during a relationship. It turned out to be really toxic, and my orientation wasn’t taken seriously. I felt disappointed and wrong about my sexuality, and my partner only made things worse. These photos were taken during days of hesitation and fear.
After the breakup, I healed myself with art and psychotherapy, and now I finally feel real. From my own experience, asking for help is not scary and not bad, and there is nothing to be ashamed of, whether you get help from a psychotherapist or a friend. Looking inside yourself and your traumas is scary, but it is necessary so that they no longer affect your life later.
I have discovered that asexual people can accept sex as a part of life. However, you should not do it for the sake of someone who won’t even include you in their environment. What is important is establishing your mental comfort zone and boundaries that should never be crossed. No one is obliged to play by someone else’s rules.
You need to learn how to love, or at least how to accept yourself, in the first place. Although to maintain self-love, you need to understand yourself very well, along with all the angels and demons of the subconscious. Sincerity towards yourself and the absence of self-deception are what you deserve!
Each of us is unique and deserves to be happy, accepted, and understood among our circle of loved ones, friends, and community. You can think a lot that you are not thin enough, beautiful enough, or anything else, but this is your body. If you feel comfortable and healthy at any weight, then the opinion of others does not matter. You just need to learn to listen to your inner truth and be aware.
Denys. First time in San Francisco
I was born and raised in Lviv, a city where nobody spoke about homosexuality. I heard about it only in the media, I didn’t have gay friends, and even when I felt attracted to men, I believed the feeling wasn't real, because nobody around me was gay. When I was 16, I graduated from school and had the opportunity to visit my aunt in the USA. I was already more or less aware of my identity, but I had not yet identified myself as gay.
When I got to San Francisco, a disco-style city and the gay capital of the world, Pride Month has just begun. There were lots of LGBT flags everywhere, LGBT identities in every store and on every street, and I just stared at it with eyes wide open because I had never seen such a thing in Lviv.
That was the moment when I immediately felt such wild freedom, because on the streets I saw people of completely different orientations, different couples whom I looked at with admiration. I stared back at the boys, went on gay dates, and lived a normal life which I had not seen in Ukraine before.
In the US, I felt some strength in myself, and there I began to do photography, which I still admire. Sometimes I remembered that this time would end and I would have to return to Ukraine. It was a turning point when I realized that on my return home, I would have to create a space that would be as comfortable as in San Francisco.
I am grateful to everyone who made my trip to America so magical. If it weren’t for that trip, I’m not sure I would be who I am now. It completely changed my idea of life, of society, of heteronormativity, and, moreover, of photography. It would be super cool to bring that spirit to Ukraine and have such a Pride here — in fact, it is my life's dream.
Kinder Limo. Meeting Dorian Electra
I grew up in a hetronormative society and discovered my sexuality in my late teens, basically when I was eighteen. When we are learning about this world, we are listening to music and watching movies, most of which are about straight experiences. This is why most people realize their sexuality later, when they are adults. And that’s why the existence of queer art is so important.
Meeting Dorian Electra was a life-changing experience. It was the first time I had seen a nonbinary person in music. We met via the internet, as we all do now. I came across their art and felt startled. I immediately made a number of covers and posted them on my Instagram.
I asked Dorian If I could be a part of their team and join them on a tour to LA as a back-dancer. They answered that I could catch up with them on a European tour! Obviously I was the happiest person in the world. I saw something that I could relate to.
At that point, I felt cautious about it. However, my environment started to change. It was my second year at the Ukrainian Catholic University, and the fact that different people existed and that I actually fit in meant a lot to me. There was place for hesitation, but in half a year I came out as nonbinary. I felt better; however, it took me two years to accept it and reveal it to the world.
That was one of my biggest inspirations to start creating queer art, being loud and proud and telling my own stories. I started writing music, and I hope one day someone will discover themselves through my lyrics. I started researching a lot and dug into queer theory. I hope my music helps others to understand themselves better. The feedback I get makes me happy.
Nazarii. Сoming out of the closet
I grew up in a small town in western Ukraine, where the only thing people know about LGBT people is that they are somewhere very far away and definitely can’t be around. When I was a teenager, I began to realize I was attracted to boys, and my best decision was to hide it so as not to become the subject of all the local gossip and a family disappointment.
However, when I entered the University of Kyiv, I began to meet people from all over Ukraine and even the world. I realized that people are so diverse and multifaceted that fitting yourself in just one box is simply wrong and absurd. Then I began to explore my orientation more, and at first I supposed that I was bisexual. Over time, I realized that I was attracted only to men and I no longer wished to fit into socially acceptable behavior.
These photos were taken at the first Equality March in Kyiv, which I attended with my boyfriend, Vova. It was a very important moment for me, because I felt part of a large community of people who were either like me or understood the concept of equality.
Then I wanted to come out of the closet to my parents because I finally realized that this is my life and I’m living it for myself. I was ready for the fact that we might stop communicating. However, everything went better than I expected, and now I can discuss my relationship with them. I have decided to be an example for other LGBT+ people who are looking for support.
This year, I made a public coming out and finally felt complete freedom and inner peace with who I am. Yes, someone may not support me or even condemn me, but I know that I have my friends, family, and boyfriend around me — people who love me and accept me completely. All that remains is to obtain equality of rights at the government level.